I was born and raised Maudy Apon in the Netherlands, Europe, the youngest of three daughters of Theodora Wilhelmina Zonneveld en Nicolaas Apon. Ever since i was a child, i loved being on a stage. From the age of 7, i won many prizes at gymnastics tournaments and ballroom dancing tournaments. I was often preoccupied with the miracles of my body and i highly appreciate what a body is capable of. At age 10 i swapped to classical ballet. At age 16 i started teaching ballet in my school 'L'oiseau' and replacing my main teacher Leonie Kramer at Ballet Academy Etudes. 

It was during summer holidays of my studies at the Royal Conservatory that i started to ask myself questions like: Who am i? What am i? Why is there so much pain and injustice on this planet? It became an existential crisis, i ended up in a closed psychiatric ward at age 25. More then 15 years of regular psychiatric treatment followed. At age 28 the psychiatrist told me i had schizoaffective disorder, the grey area between schizophrenic disorder and manic-depressive (bipolar) disorder. I was told it to be a severe and incurable disease and not to expect to be able to make the career i had hoped for. Therapy was out of the question.

“A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe



In 2011 i quit the medication. I studied to become a mental healthcare and drug abuse expert by experience. I am proud to be part of the first batch graduates of the Soteria Nederland Academy. Furthermore, i wouldn't be where i am now without the help of the fantastic work of Sean Blackwell (BipolarAwakenings), and Catherine G. Lucas whom i met at the Consciousness in Crisis 2012 conference. Her book In Case Of Spiritual Emergency -moving successfully through your awakening- keeps inspiring me! The work of Monica Cassani at Beyond Meds is awesome. And last but not least my hugely inspiring friend and poet Catherine L. Penney, who features in former psychotherapist Daniel Mackler's documentary Take These Broken Wings and psychiatrist Daniel Dorman's book Dante's Cure.

God Bless and keep listening to the music,

Maudy "Katidjah" Apon